Without my son’s biological father or a significant other to be a co-parent to my little boy, there are moments of discouragement when I think of the long term repercussions. As my son gets older, there will be questions on that absence. Questions that I’m still working out how to answer.
What is lacking for me as a single parent may pose as obstructions on our path but I am hell bent on becoming a master at parkour for life. The obstacles will be there but I can work at my flexibility, stamina and strength to clear obstacles in our path with grace. The reality simply is what it is but I do my utmost to push who I am and what I am able to do so that my son is given opportunities that are not limited to circumstance.
Creating an existence with loving, stable surroundings includes many adults to whom he can be attached, love and be loved by. When I see his arms outstretched when either of my two brothers, my dad or my brother-in-law come into his view, my heart skips a joyful beat catching my breath.
Prioritizing motherhood will for always be at the forefront of my mind in the choices I make. My son will always know this. However, the absence of a father present in his life will at some point be known to him. That knowledge and the potential emotional upset that will stir will certainly be lessened by the fact that he’s surrounded by father figures. There are solid male figures of attachment in his life who invest emotionally in his well being.
The men in my life are also present in his. And more so than the women with whom we are surrounded, Julian has connected with them. He’ll throw himself at them and will not look back at me when in their arms. He feels of their love for him. There is a sense of security that calms him and utter joy at the fun he’ll have when they play with him.
To each of you, family and otherwise, who play a role in Julian’s life to provide that which I cannot, thank you. To complement all that I offer to my son is a blessing to us both. Men and women alike will have an impact in his life but today, I am particularly grateful to father figures.